Alive in Wonderland
by Aerys Krystie
Summary: Cross Academy is putting on a play! Said play includes barely there costumes, sexual tension that could possibly lead somewhere else, and a bunch of insanity and randomness that makes no quack. Rated for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**~Alive in Wonderland~**

**By:** Aerys Krystie.

**Theme:** AU, somewhere in "Sweet Deception", actually. Think of this as a deleted scene. Sweet Deception does not need to be read, but it might help you understand the OC a little better.

**Plot:** Cross Academy is putting on a play! Much to the brilliant idea from a very sly demon, the play is a raunchier and darker version of "Alice in Wonderland", called "Alive in Wonderland". As usual, our meddling demon has the roles all planned out for everyone. It includes barely-there outfits, and a great deal of sexual tension that could possibly leader somewhere else.

**Warnings:** No freaking idea. OOC and OC, for starters. Knowing my dirty mind, yaoi is gonna be in there. A fair amount of sexual tension, language, and retardation.

**Disclaimer:** Everything of and referring to Vampire Knight is not mine. I make no profit from this story. I barely claim rights to crappy OC.

**A/N:** A while ago, someone reviewed Sweet Deception with the idea of a three way with Kaname, Zero and Tsuki. This is likely not that story. But from that review (I think there were several of them, actually), I got this. 

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><p>Zero woke up as the girls in the classroom squealed excitedly. He forced his eyes to open, and tried to find what was making them so happy. He disliked it greatly when his naps were interrupted, especially so rudely. It was a classroom. It was nearly equivalent to a library.<p>

At the front of the classroom stood two members from the Night Class. Zero woke up fully, staring down at them. What were they doing there? They had no reason to be there, during the daylight hours. But there stood Kuran Kaname and Kurenai Tsuki. Kaname smiled at the girls, which did nothing except make them squeal louder. That was something that Zero didn't think was possible. Inside a classroom, though, everything was possible.

The teacher cleared his throat. The girls ignored him. Zero could have told him it would have been fruitless. They rarely listened to what the vampires said. And when Zero thought about it, they probably only heard what they wanted to hear.

Kaname raised a hand, and the girls finally began to quiet down. "Student of the Day Class, we have come to ask your help. Headmaster Cross has suggested we, the Day Class and the Night Class, do a play together."

Zero's eyes widened. The girls screamed. Was the Headmaster on meth? What the hell could possibly be going through his crazy mind? What could make him think that this was a good idea, in any sense? The vampires could barely control themselves, as it was. Putting them in the same building was a call for murder to happen.

"Shut up," Tsuki said levelly. The girls glared, but did as they were told. "We have not come to a census of what the play will be. As such, we will hand out a poll. Please mark the play you would like to see happen with a cross."

Kaname and Tsuki walked up the center of the class, handing out papers. Zero took his, and looked at the options they had. In all honesty, he was going to find a way to stop this play from happening. The Headmaster was going to commit social suicide, and probably receive a bounty on his head for the deaths that _are_ going to happen.

_This play will not be stopped, Zero_, Tsuki's voice whispered in the Hunter's mind. He forgot the demon could do that. It still annoyed him to no end when it occurred. Zero didn't like having some stranger in his head. Most of the time, he didn't like having him in his head. _I've made sure there is no way you can stop this._ And that was just what he didn't need to hear.

If Tsuki was behind the whole charade, there wasn't anything anyone could do to stop it. On the other hand, if Tsuki was behind it, then that meant the vampires should behave themselves. They might not like Tsuki, but the demon had power. That was something they feared. And with Kaname helping, there probably wouldn't be anything too bad that could go wrong.

With a sigh, Zero studied the names on the paper. Alice in Wonderland. Cinderella. Snow White. Beauty and the Beast. Hamlet. There wasn't much of a choice choice. Zero had no idea what he wanted to vote for. Everyone seemed as bad as the last, except Hamlet. At least that had some killing in it.

The girls chatted excitedly, while the boys groaned about the lame choices they had. Zero completely agreed with the boys. Zero went to the mark the box beside Hamlet, when his hand moved of its own volition. He marked Alice in Wonderland, instead. He glared at Tsuki. The demon was talking quietly with Kaname. Even though Tsuki was doing something, Zero just knew the demon was behind it all.

"Are you all done?" Kaname asked.

"Yes," was the collective answer.

The papers were shuffled down to the first row of students, and collected. Kaname and Tsuki quickly flipped through them. They glanced at each other and nodded. It was a blowout. Alice in Wonderland was the unanimous winner. Kaname had no doubt that Tsuki had a playing hand in the votes. It wasn't beneath a demon to rig a vote.

"The Night Class will take all your names, and determine who plays what," Tsuki informed them, his fake brown eyes locking with Zero's lilac ones. "From the White Rabbit to the deck of cards."

Zero got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Tsuki had already tampered with the vote. There wasn't a doubt in the Hunter's mind that the demon would mess with the character decisions. And to make it all worse, there wasn't a damn thing Kaname could do to stop it.

Kaname and Tsuki left the room. The teacher tried to continue on with the lesson, but the students would stop talking about the play. Zero knew which play had won. For some reason, Tsuki was determined to have Alice in Wonderland be the production they put on. There had to be a reason behind it.

Of course, when it came to demons, was there ever any method to their madness? Zero doubted it. He was hoping the whole scenario was a bad dream. He wished he could wake up, and it was Valentine's Day again. He was aching for it to be that time of year.

Yuuki looked over shoulder. She smiled at Zero. "Which one did you vote for, Zero?"

Zero glared. "Alice in Wonderland," he muttered.

"Me, too. I would have preferred Beauty and the Beast. I think you, or Kaname-senpai would have been brilliant as the Beast." Yuuki sighed sadly, and faced forward. Zero ignored the last comment.

No-one was paying attention to what the teacher was saying. It seemed that the man was going to continue on with the lesson, even if no-one would remember what it was about. Somehow, Zero got the feeling that that was the whole point to Kaname and Tsuki showing up in the middle of class. They could have put posters around the dorms, informing everyone of the play.

That wasn't showy, though. Tsuki enjoyed dazzling everyone, from what Zero had seen of the demon. There weren't many times when he did see Tsuki, but he figured he knew enough. The time in the Headmaster's kitchen was enough of a show.

Zero laid his head on his arms. He decided to get as much sleep as he could, before he had to deal with the fan girls. With the mention of the play, they were going even more irritating. Zero had already been tempted several times to pull out Bloody Rose, just for the sake of doing so. He knew that once one girl noticed it, it would spread. They would scream, and run away, giving him peace.

Zero smiled to himself as that thought entered his mind. He would gladly sell his soul to Tsuki for some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, the demon had already told him that his soul wasn't worth much, and it would be pointless to take it. That wouldn't stop Zero from trying, though. One way or another, he was going to get what he wanted.

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><p>Zero stared at the casting sheet. He was not in the least bit surprised to see that he had received the role of the White Rabbit. Yuuki had been given the part of Tweedledee, and Aidou was playing Tweedledum. Kaname was playing the Mad Hatter, Shiki was the March Hare, and Rima was the Dormouse. The Queen of Hearts was given to Yori, while the King of Hearts went to Ruka. Takuma played the Dodo.<p>

The role of Alice was one that Zero was waiting to see. His eyes widened, and he burst out into laughter when he read the name. Kain was going to love this. Zero had no idea how the vampire was going to look in a dress, and he couldn't wait to see his face when he was reminded. He calmed himself a little, but it didn't work for long, as the laughter erupted again.

Zero ignored the weird looks he received from the other people. He knew that laughing insanely, in public – well, just him laughing was enough – wasn't something he did. He knew that Tsuki would be in charge of the costume designs, and that thought cut his laughter short. He didn't see which character Tsuki was playing.

Zero searched the names again. He was surprised he didn't see the first time. And the character that Tsuki was playing wasn't the least bit surprising. It suited who the demon was; the Cheshire Cat. A fictional character that loved to fuck with people. That part just screamed Tsuki's name.

"Zero!"

Zero turned when he heard Yuuki calling his name. She had a book in her hands. When she got closer, Zero read the words on the front, and noticed a typo that someone had made. It was a test script. He quickly took it from her, and scanned through it. It was the first act, which for some reason involved a redneck alligator. Zero didn't want to know how that got in there.

"Where did you get this?" Zero asked, handing it back to the girl.

Yuuki pointed over her shoulder. "It was meant to be put up with the casting sheet. Someone forgot to add it to the board. Can you believe that I'm playing Tweedledee? I hope I don't mess up my lines!"

Zero was grateful that all he had to remember were seven words. He was certain he could handle that. It was going to be a challenge, though. He would have to mentally prepare himself. That was a lie. He would have to mentally prepare himself for the first day of dress rehearsal. Seeing Kain in Alice's dress was going to make everyone laugh, without a doubt. Zero just hoped the vampire will remember to shave his legs.

Yuuki pinned the script to the board. In half a second, she was pushed to the side, and the script was ripped down. Everyone clamored on about the typo, and that was something that would have to be brought up when the full script was ready.

"How does a redneck alligator fit in with Alice in Wonderland?" someone wondered out loud. "Was there even a redneck alligator in the book, or movie?"

Zero forced himself not to groan. Did any even know about Alice in Wonderland? He was beginning to doubt it. He wandered off into the woods. That was about the only place he could get any peace. Yuuki knew he hid in the stables, so he was rarely there anymore. He paused beneath a tree, and closed his eyes.

"In answer to your question, I know about Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. I also read Through the Looking Glass."

Zero spun around. Tsuki was sitting in the tree, with his back to the trunk, his arms behind his head and his eyes closed. He almost looked as though he was napping. The only shock value Tsuki received was the fact that Zero didn't think the demon would be out. He already knew that Tsuki would have read the books, and probably screamed about how wrong today's media got them.

"So why did you put a redneck alligator in the first act?" Zero asked. He was curious; he wouldn't deny that.

Tsuki shrugged, not bothering to open his eyes. "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"I know you rigged the whole thing."

Tsuki finally opened his eyes, and stared down at Zero. "Congratulations, you finally figured out that I'm a demon. Unfortunately, you didn't beat the buzzer. Please take this as a parting gift." The demon flipped Zero the bird, and closed his eyes again.

"Real mature," Zero stated, and decided it was time he found another tree. He walked several yards away, and jumped slightly when he saw Tsuki in the tree he was about to lean on. The demon was in the same position. "Why are you following me?"

"I'm getting into character. The proper script is complete – has been for the last month – so I figured I would do some method acting in my free time."

Zero narrowed his eyes. The demon was beginning to grate on his last nerve. It wasn't the fact that he was following him; it was the fact that the demon had a perfectly logical explanation for following him. "How many lines can the Cheshire Cat possibly have?"

"You do realize that you kiss the Mad Hatter, right?"

"That's what I – Wait, what?"

Tsuki opened his eyes, and lowered his arms. He hovered down towards Zero, like the character he would be playing. "That's what I thought. My contract isn't complete. In the meantime, I'm going to have fun."

Zero stared at Tsuki. "I've never seen you smirk like that."

Tsuki disappeared, but his voice lingered. "That's what I thought."

Zero shook his head. This play was going to be murder. Why the hell would the White Rabbit kiss the Mad Hatter? How could Tsuki possibly have found a way for that to happen? And why did he have to be the White Rabbit? Wasn't there someone better suited for it?

"You're always late, Kiryu-kun," Tsuki's voice whispered through the air. "And you're going to look rather delicious in the outfit I have prepared for you."

Zero already had his regrets for not trying to stop the play. Now he was down right terrified to show up to practice. He didn't want to know what Tsuki had in mind for his costume. In fact, Zero didn't want to know what any of the costumes would look like. He did want to know what Kain's would look like, though. That would probably be the only reason he would show up to practice.

"Whatever you say, demon. Just know that now I have a real reason to stop this play from happening."

"Your public humiliation is not a real reason, Kiryu-kun." There was a slight chuckle. "In fact, that is just an added bonus."

Zero growled. For a moment, he actually thought this play could be fun. He would never admit it out loud, of course. And with Kaname and Tsuki around, he couldn't even admit it mentally. But he knew he was stupid to think there wouldn't be a hidden motive behind it. Tsuki always had something up his sleeve. And it was annoying because he usually got away with it.

"In all honesty," Tsuki continued. Zero wished the demon would reappear, and talk like a normal creature. "I think Alive in Wonderland is going to be a hit."

Zero frowned. He thought that had been a typo. "You mean to tell me that the play is actually called Alive in Wonderland? I thought some idiot had misspelled Alice."

"That would have been rather comical, but no. Now, if you will excuse me, I believe our dear Kaname needs to speak to me about the costumes. Rehearsals begin tomorrow, Zero. Be ready."

Zero rolled his eyes. He highly doubted that he was alone. Tsuki was the reason behind the phrase 'nowhere and everywhere'. The demon was the flu virus. It always around them, but never did any harm, until it was breathed in.

Zero sat beneath the tree. If the redneck alligator was anything to go by, the actual script was going to make no sense. That was a given, as the White Rabbit and Mad Hatter don't actually have a meeting, as far as Zero could remember. Why was everyone so hell bent on having him and Kaname kiss? He had no idea what kind of effect it would have on the fan-girls. The last thing he needed was them out for his blood.

And the vampires. They hated him as it was. They would have a fit when they see him and Kaname kiss. Zero smirked. The script wasn't sounding as bad as it did ten minutes ago. In fact, he was looking forward to the kissing scene. He couldn't wait to see the look on Aidou's and Ruka's faces when it was over.

Zero blinked. When did he become so twisted? _I've been spending too much time around that damn demon_, he told himself. It was the most reasonable conclusion he could come to. He closed his eyes, and smirked. It wasn't that bad. He could be thinking a lot worse things. Actually, he didn't even want to think that he was looking forward to the kissing scene. Tsuki would never let him live it down.

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><p>Tsuki pushed his hand through his brown hair, removing the wig he wore. He stared at the vampires. He honestly had no idea what they were getting so bent out of shape about. There were a lot worse things he could do to them.<p>

Kaname held up the costume for Alice. Kain had been restrained, by his leader. It was taking all the fire wielder's strength to not attack the demon. Kain had gone a little insane when he discovered that he was going to be playing Alice. But he learnt to deal with it. When he saw the costume he was meant to be wearing, that was the final straw. If he hadn't been restrained, it would have been on for young and old.

"I refuse to let anyone wear this, Kurenai-kun," Kaname stated.

Tsuki knew he was going to be getting that sort of reception for the Alice dress. In fact, he had done it on purpose. The actual dress was in his room. He just wanted to see the look on Kain's face when he saw the dress. And it was completely worth it. Tsuki was grateful he had taken a picture of it. The look of pure indignity, and dismay was priceless.

"And why would that be, Kuran-kun?" Tsuki inquired innocently, unable to keep the smirk off his face.

"Because it's an apron. There is no dress." Kaname held the miniature, frilly white apron in front of the demon.

Tsuki blinked. "Oh, my. That's not right. There is meant to be a dress, and shoes with it. I wonder what happened to them."

Ruka picked up the Queen of Hearts outfit. "This one is just a giant red heart. I don't think the human playing the Queen of Hearts will be impressed about that."

Kaname looked at the costume. It was indeed a piece of red silk, which had been cut into the shape of a heart. It sat over the shoulders, and the vampire leader shook his head. Did Tsuki seriously think he could get away with the costumes being like that?

Kaname knew that Tsuki wanted a raunchier and darker version of Alice in Wonderland, hence the title change. He had read the script, and thought the demon had outdone himself. It was brilliant, to say the least. The costumes left a little something to be desired. The element that was desired was having an outfit that actually covered the person. There was raunchy, and then there was porn.

Ruka screamed. "This is the King of Hearts costume!" She held up a red ribbon.

"Yeah, I was expecting the King of Hearts to be male. I guess you could tie it up in your hair, Ruka." Tsuki waited. He laughed when Ruka exclaimed in disgust, dropping the ribbon. She finally figured out where it was meant to go on a male.

Kaname sighed. This all seemed a little too staged, in his opinion. Tsuki was looking forward to the play. He wouldn't want to jeopardize the whole thing with skanky outfits. And that was when it dawned on him. He did something he had never done in front of his inner circle. "You're just fucking with us, aren't you?"

"And I have it all on video."

Kaname shook his head. The demon had a bad habit of getting one up one him. Kaname knew he should have known that Tsuki wouldn't be that bad. He wanted to do the play, and make sure it went smoothly. From what Kaname had overheard, Tsuki had asked his father make sure nothing went wrong. That was impressive. All Kaname had to do now was wait for the rest of the costumes.

Another two boxes appeared. One was tall, and thin. The other box was a normal box, which probably contained the dresses that were missing. The tall box contained the card outfits. Everyone hunted for their costumes. As much as the vampires didn't want to do this production with the humans, they were just as excited about it.

Kaname picked up his costume. From what he could see, Tsuki went into great detail of them. He even included shoes, which was a good thing. Kaname wasn't sure where Kain could find a pair of pumps that would fit his feet. He looked at Kain, when the vampire groaned in defeat. He was questioning how why he had to take the part of Alice.

Kaname saw that Kain was holding a pair of thigh-high, black vinyl boots. Kain was going to need a month just to be able to walk in those. He was going to be the tallest Alice there ever was.

Kaname glanced at Tsuki. The demon pulled out a cell phone, and answered the vibrating device. He greeted the other person in English, and carried on a conversation. It didn't last more than three minutes. When he hung up, he looked at Kaname and nodded. It would appear they would have their make up artists. Tsuki had flat out refused to do everyone's make up.

With the dark themes added, many of the characters had been turned into zombies. The deck of cards would be the walking dead. Tweedledee and Tweedledum weren't going to look fully human, either. There had been minor alterations made to all the characters, including the Cheshire Cat.

Kaname checked the boxes. He had yet to see Tsuki's costume. It was one of the outfits Kaname was looking forward to seeing. In fact, when Tsuki said he would take care of the costumes, Kaname's curiosity got the better of him. He knew this play was Tsuki's idea. There was no way the Headmaster would have come up with it on his own. His theory was confirmed when Tsuki admitted to putting the idea in Kaien's head.

Kaname could think of no reason why Tsuki would the school to host a play. When he asked the demon about his motives behind it, Tsuki just shrugged, and said, "Why not?" Why not, indeed. It would be the first time Cross Academy would have done a play of this sort. Kaname was grateful that the Headmaster hadn't seen the script. Things might change during rehearsal, though. The Headmaster would be supervising.

"Where is your costume, Kurenai-kun?"

"In my room, where it belongs. Now, vampires, please be gentle with your costumes. Do not get any blood on them. I will _not_ pay the dry cleaning bill if you do," Tsuki informed them. "Rehearsals begin tomorrow, so please be on time. If you aren't, I will not be a very happy demon."

The vampires nodded, not really paying attention. They chatted excitedly about the play. Kaname would make sure they took care of their costumes. Even though Tsuki probably created them from nothing, they seemed to have some sort of sentimental value to them. That thought went flying out of his mind when Tsuki snorted.

"Yeah, costumes have a sentimental value to me. Could you make me sound any gayer?" Tsuki pushed his white bangs out of his false brown eyes.

Kaname raised an eyebrow. He did enjoy a challenge. If Tsuki wanted to sound gayer, Kaname would gladly do everything in his power to make that happen. Of course, when it came to a demon like Tsuki, anything Kaname did, he could do it better. Tsuki was like the demonic version of ShadyVox.

"Are you ready to tell me the real reason behind this play, Kurenai-kun?"

Tsuki looked at Kaname, and smirked. "If we put out fliers in the town, charge fifteen dollars a head, we might actually be able to get some decent entertainment in these dorms."

Kaname blinked. This whole charade was about making money? Tsuki wanted to make money for a television, a device he can conjure from thin air, because he was bored when he was in the dorms? That did not sound like the demon in the slightest. There had to be something else behind it.

"Kaname, if I conjure a television, everyone else will want one. I'm a selfish demon, therefore I won't want to share. You'll tell me to, I'll say no, you'll threaten me, I'll challenge you, we'll get into a fight, and then have angry 'no-one got too badly hurt' sex." Tsuki stared off into space, clicking the images through his mind to make sure he had it right. He did. That was strange.

Kaname could feel his cheeks beginning to heat up. It was completely unlike him to blush. But with the way that Tsuki had said they would have sex…There was just something in it. Almost as though it was an act they were going to do, for some unknown reason. Kaname could think of a thousand other ways he would prefer to spend those three minutes. He smirked. That got Tsuki's attention.

The demon gazed at him. His eyes were apathetic, which mean he was hiding something. "You should probably speak to a doctor about your premature ejaculation."

Kaname detested the way Tsuki turned an insult around. It was nearly impossible to get on up on the demon. Still, Kaname wasn't that petty. He wouldn't admit out loud, but he did enjoy the banter session he had with Tsuki. He couldn't wait to see what rehearsals had in store. There would be a lot of screaming, shouting, name calling, punching, biting, kicking, pinching and hair pulling. That was all a given.

Kaname thought about what Tsuki had mentioned earlier, about being a selfish demon. "If you are such a selfish demon, Kurenai-kun, then why do you want to make money for the dorms?"

A kind smile curved Tsuki's lips. "What kind of a television do you think you could get with thirty dollars? Honestly?"

Kaname sighed softly. Again, there was something that the demon wasn't sharing with the rest of the class. He always knew something that would make him the victor. "You can be exceptionally cruel, at times."

Tsuki blinked. "Congratulations, you finally figured out that I'm a demon. Unfortunately, you didn't beat the buzzer. Please take this as a parting gift." The demon flipped Kaname the bird, and headed towards the stairs. He paused and looked over his shoulder. "Are you ready to enter Wonderland, Mad Hatter?"

"Do I have a choice?" Kaname asked, glancing down at his costume. For Tsuki to ask a question such as that, it meant something was heading their way. Something bad, most likely. It was just a matter of what, and when.

~*~  
><span>End Chapter I.<span>

Yup, still got no idea how this story came about. I still don't know how I managed to make a story out a deleted scene. Well, I hope you guys are enjoying it. And to all my loyal readers...YES! IT IS KANAME/ZERO! I promise. There is no reason for you to doubt me. There will be sex between Kaname and Zero, I swear.

So with that said, please review!  
>Aldo, please ignore all spelling mistakes. I haven't had any sleep for the last twenty-four hours, which is probably how I came up with this story.<p>

Until the next chapter, have a great day!


	2. Chapter 2

**~Alive in Wonderland~**

**By:** Aerys Krystie.

**Warnings for this chapter:** Drug induced randomness, language, OC and OOC. If you thought the last chapter made no sense, prepare yourself.

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><p>Zero looked around the auditorium. He had no idea where the building came from, and he wasn't going to ask. It was obvious that Tsuki had created it, for the sole purpose of this one play. If it kept the demon happy, which would hopefully mean less death threats, then Tsuki could create as many auditoriums as he wanted.<p>

The actual building fitted in well with the design of Cross Academy, Zero came to notice. The theatre, which was what it looked more like, had an old feeling surrounding it. If Tsuki did make it from nothing, as Zero was assuming that was what the demon did, he really went all out. There were VIP booths. There was even a ticket stand, a snack stall and bathrooms. There wasn't a detail that was missing. It was all done for one play.

Zero stared at Yagari. He wasn't expecting to see the man in there, of all places. In fact, Zero was certain Yagari had been called away by the Association for a mission. It seemed apparent that he had completed it, and was back in school to teach his classes. The man looked impressed, and Zero figured that the Hunter didn't have much experience when it came to living with a demon.

"There you are," Tsuki said as he approached Zero. He had a clipboard in his right hand and a heavy looking bag in his left. He dropped the bag, marked something on the clipboard. "You need your costume. I thought the vampires had sent them out to the Day Class, but I guess even I can be wrong sometimes." Tsuki hunted through the bag. He pulled out a clear bag, which had neatly folded clothing in it, along with a pair of boots. "Everything should be in your size."

Zero took the items. Tsuki moved onto the next Day Class student that hadn't received their costume. The demon was surprising organized, despite the fact that he was behind on his schedule. Zero looked at the boots. They were basic black combat boots. He could live with that. It seemed that Tsuki had probably spent all the money on the costumes, and the set. And from the looks of it, a fog machine.

"Who said anything about spending money, Kiryu-kun?" Tsuki called from the back of the seats. "Do you have any idea how much all of this would have cost? Think in hundred thousands. That isn't including the building, or the make up artists. Speaking of which, who has the designs for the make up?"

Zero frowned. Tsuki should know who had the designs he was looking for. He was a demon, after all. Zero looked around at the people in the room. Oh. He forgot that there were humans with them. It was perfectly fine to act like a know-it-all dick in front of vampires, but it was something entirely different around humans.

Zero headed towards the stage. It was much bigger up close. From what he had read in the script, there was a lot of fighting and running. A tiny stage wouldn't have done a thing for them. If needed, Zero had no doubt that Tsuki would make the stage bigger.

Zero paused. He hadn't heard the shouting until he was on the stage, and heading towards the back, for the dressing rooms. He could distinctly hear Kain telling everyone to go to hell. Zero was going to guess that the vampire didn't want to wear his costume. Zero had heard about the skimpy costume fiasco that Tsuki had pulled. Apparently, the Alice dress didn't get any better.

Zero went behind the stage. The male dressing rooms were on the right, and he turned down it. He watched as Kain held onto the exit for dear life. Aidou and Ruka were trying to pull him away from it. The door creaked open, and Kain's attempts to get away got more frantic. Zero couldn't keep the amusement off his face.

The door opened fully, dragging Kain, Aidou and Ruka with it. Kaname stood there. He raised an eyebrow at the display set out before him. From Zero's position, Kain's feet were no longer on the ground. He was pretty much a vampire plank. Half of him had freedom, but the other half couldn't join it.

"Kaname-sama, I've changed my mind. I don't want to play Alice. Please, pick someone else."

"No," Tsuki said as he appeared beside Kaname. "This role chose you, Kain-kun."

Kain growled. "That is the biggest load of horse shit I've ever heard. You were the one that was pulling the names out of the hat. I know you rigged it."

Tsuki tilted his head. He was already getting tired of saying it, but decided once more couldn't hurt. "Congratulations, you finally figured out that I'm a demon. Unfortunately, you didn't beat the buzzer. Please take this as a parting gift." The demon flipped Kain the bird. "However, you're still going to play Alice, and you're going to like it. I swear if I have to say that phrase one more time, I'm copyrighting it."

Tsuki placed a hand on Kain's shoulder. When he removed it, the vampire was in his costume. Kain looked at his chest. "You son of a bitch!"

"Yes, yes I am. Now that we have gotten that out of the way, here is your script. Rehearsal starts in two minutes." Tsuki walked through Kain, marking something on the clipboard. He looked at Zero. "You should get changed, Zero. You're in the second scene."

Zero scowled. He looked around for his dressing room, cursing loudly when he saw that it was next to Kaname's. Why did the White Rabbit and Mad Hatter have to be so close together? Zero knew it was just Tsuki's way of screwing with him.

Zero locked the door, so the demon wouldn't just barge in. Of course, Tsuki just walked through a vampire. A wooden door probably would prove to be much of a barrier. He stripped out of the school uniform, and opened the bag that held his costume. He laid it out on the sofa that was in the room, and his heart sank when he saw it. Didn't Tsuki know there was a difference between raunchy and porn?

Zero pulled on the hot pants, which had a ball of white fluff attached to the back. He looked at himself in the mirror on the vanity table. His ass looked good, but Zero wasn't sure if he liked that. He pulled on the vest, and did up the gold buttons. It looked like a tiny waistcoat. He attached the collar, which was black and had a red tie sewn in. He looked at the rabbit ears. He was going to look ridiculous. He clipped the ears into his hair, and looked himself in the mirror again.

"I look like a host from a yaoi manga!" he hissed at his reflection.

"Then my job is complete," Tsuki said, checking something off on the clipboard. What the hell could the demon possibly have to check off? "That would be the box that says, 'Make Zero feel like a male whore'. Here's your script. How does the outfit feel?"

Zero snatched the script from Tsuki's hand. He wasn't going to answer that last question. It would be a cold day in hell before Zero admitted that the outfit was surprisingly soft. He stormed out of the dressing room, paused, turned and re-entered. He sat down on the sofa, and pulled on the boots.

Zero looked up when something caught the light, and glinted. Tsuki was holding a gold pocket watch in front of him. Zero took it, attached the clip to the vest, and slipped it into the left pocket. He left the dressing room; once he made sure he had everything with him. Storming out of the room the first time meant more, than doing it a second time.

"Okay, everyone take their places," Tsuki commanded from the middle of the seats. "It's marked in the script. I know a lot of you have a difficult time breathing, much less thinking. Just read what's written. Three, two, on ––"

"Wait!" Kain called, running onto the stage. He stumbled several times. His ankles rolled around in the boots, and it was almost inevitable that Kain would sprain his ankle.

Zero stared. In fact, all a lot of people could do was gawk at the vampire. There was Rocky Horror, and then there was Kain. Tsuki really had no idea why the vampire had to play Alice. There were a lot of other, more suited candidates for Alice. Ones that wouldn't look as awkward as Kain did in the other outfit. Unfortunately, it wasn't as funny as Zero thought it was going to be. It was nightmarishly scary.

"I'll wear this ridiculous outfit, including the wig, but I refuse to wear these boots."

Tsuki raised an eyebrow slightly. "And why would that be?"

"Well, I ––"

"Wait," Tsuki said, holding up a hand. "I seemed to have stopped caring. I will change the boots for you. I only wanted to see how long you would last, before you decided enough was enough." The demon marked something on the clipboard, and glanced at the stage. "Take off the boots for the now. There is no point in you getting used to them."

As Kain undid the laces on the boots, a Day Class student stood beside Zero. "Can you believe how amazing Tsuki-senpai is? He took care of the costumes, the set, the script and he's also directing. How is he able to do all of this?"

"I'm a wizard," Tsuki answered, and the fan-girls squealed.

With the boots off, Kain curled his toes. He forced himself not moan, as he wasn't looking forward to being jumped by the fan-girls. He had no idea how women could cram their feet into those boots, and wear them for long periods of time. He barely survived the five minutes he had them on.

"Lights," Tsuki called. The theatre went dark. "Eerie background." A background was lowered. "Lights. I said eerie background!" Tsuki didn't want to know why they had a colorful background, filled with smiling daisies and woodland animals. The mistake was corrected. "Cue spooky voice."

"In ––"

"I said spooky," Tsuki cut in, glaring over his shoulder at the Day Class student.

"Sorry, Tsuki-senpai." The girl cleared her throat. "In ––"

"Change of plans," Tsuki said. "You suck. I need someone else to be the narrator."

The girl gasped. "Wait, Tsuki-senpai! I promise I can do better. Please give me another chance."

Tsuki got his feet. He turned, and looked up at her. There was something strange going on, already. "One last time, from the beginning."

"You never let her get further than that," Zero muttered.

The girl coughed, trying to dry out her throat for the desired result that Tsuki wanted. "In..." She trailed off, waiting for Tsuki to interrupt. When the demon didn't, she continued. "…the beginning, Alice thought that she had saved Wonderland. Bizarre dreams plagued her nights. In them, she saw red roses, which were dripping with blood instead of paint. The Mad Hatter and the March Hare…" Tsuki cued Kaname and Shiki onto the stage. "…didn't know what to do. They knew that peace had to be restored to Wonderland. They needed to find a way to attack whatever it was that was turning the creatures of Wonderland into the walking dead."

Tsuki cued the five of spades, three of hearts, ten of clubs and the seven of diamonds onto the stage. Knives appeared in Kaname's and Shiki's hands, and they slashed quickly at the cards, which fell to the ground. With a wave of his hand, Tsuki included the fake blood, which would be squirted around the stage. Thankfully, it would be easy to clean.

"With all of that in mind, the Mad Hatter and March Hare consulted with the Dormouse." Tsuki waved Rima onto the stage.

"We need a champion," Shiki said blandly.

"Cut," Tsuki said predicatively. "Shiki-kun, this is acting. Put some emotion into your voice, before I beat it into you."

Shiki lowered his eyes, flipping an ear out of his eye. "We need a champion," he repeated, just as bleakly as before. "We need a champion." No change. "We need a champion." Still the same. Rima glanced around, and crushed the heel of her shoe into Shiki's foot. "We need a champion!" he declared.

Kaname concurred with a nod of his head. "We need someone that has no fear. Someone like…"

"Alice," Rima said plainly.

Tsuki forced his eye not to twitch. He knew that casting anti-social, sociopathic vampires into the roles that included insanity was going to be a bad idea. He just never expected it to be that bad. It didn't really help that it was being done on purpose.

"Alice," Shiki said.

Kaname turned towards the audience. "Alice," he said dramatically.

Tsuki kept a growl in. If Kaname wanted to win an Oscar, he would have to stop acting like a child. "And with that thought, they summoned the White Rabbit. The only creature they know, who would able to get Alice's attention, and take her down the rabbit hole. It was from that moment that the Mad Hatter, March Hare and the Dormouse came to the same conclusion…"

"We're screwed," Kaname, Rima and Shiki exclaimed.

"…and thus begins the story of 'Alive in Wonderland'."

"End scene. Change the sets, and characters get yourself ready for the next scene, please." Tsuki closed his eyes, deciding that he was never going to work with amateurs again. Or wonder why he allowed some moron to write the script.

Kaname stepped off the stage, looking at Zero. He didn't look, so much as stare. While Kain's outfit had the ability to induce mass suicide, Zero's was extremely sexy. Kaname had had his doubt about this play, but after seeing Zero, he decided that it was all worth it. Hell could break loose, for all Kaname cared. He knew he would die a very happy vampire.

"Is Alice and his family ready yet?" Tsuki asked from the catwalk, playing around with the lights. "We don't have an eternity. I mean, I do but most of you will be lucky to survive until next year."

Kaname glared up at the demon. Tsuki was walking on thin ice. If he made another reference to him being a demon, the vampire was going to kill him. Well, he might not be able to do that, but he would have fun trying. Not mention telling some of the students that they didn't have long left.

Kaname, Tsuki and Zero stared at the stage. "Something stupid is about to happen," they muttered.

The Day Class student playing Alice's father ran onto the stage. There was the scent of something burning, and Kaname raised an eyebrow. "Oh my god! My shoes are on fire!"

Kaname looked up at Tsuki. The demon had basically face-palmed, and was shaking his head. "You were the same idiot that managed to set fire to water. You blew a hole the size of Texas in your wall, because you were trying to make toast. You tripped, and somehow managed to stab a pen through the hand of your best friend. How are you even still alive?"

"Survival of the fittest!" the human declared happily.

"I'm going to choke you with your own trachea," Tsuki stated as he walked towards the stage.

"That's not even ––"

"I know it isn't, Kaname. But for some reason, we've all become retarded for the duration of this play." Tsuki glanced around at the humans, and the vampires. "Well, at least it can't get any worse."

Aidou appeared beside Zero. "I can live entirely on a diet of crayons and lighter fluid," he announced.

Kaname stared at the blond vampire. He didn't want to know what the hell was going through Aidou's mind. "Tsuki, what is happening here?"

"Kaname, you're missing the point here," Tsuki said, checking something off on the clipboard.

"And what would that be?" Kaname demanded.

"I'unno, but you're missing it." Tsuki paused. "Did I just say that? That does not sound like me."

Kaname glanced at the stage. The student with the shoes on fire didn't seem bothered by the flames. If Tsuki knew this was going to happen, the demon would have taken the necessary measures to ensure it didn't. _What is going on he –– Whoa! Is this what it sounds like inside my head? I could have sworn I had a song playing._ Kaname stared into space.

"Am I hallucinating, or is that a buffalo in a tutu?" Zero pointed to something in the seats.

Kaname and Tsuki looked. There undoubtedly a buffalo in a tutu. Tsuki marked something off in his clipboard. "Well, this is getting better and better," the demon mumbled. "I should probably see how the other humans are doing."

"Isn't it great that Tsuki-senpai is such a good role model?" a Day Class student asked.

"We need to score some drugs," Tsuki said before he went back stage.

Kaname opened his mouth. It snapped shut when the scenery changed. He and Zero were sitting in a bar. They were still in their costumes. Kaname had a glass of scotch on the rocks, and Zero had a glass of red wine. Kaname had no idea how they got there.

"Thanks for that wonderful date, Zero." Kaname blinked. Did Tsuki spike the local water with something? He knew he didn't just say what he thought he did. "The movie was really good."

"Bitch, I'm hyped up on drugs. I can't remember where I took you." Zero stared at Kaname. He knew what he was thinking, but it wasn't making any sense. The words were just flowing from his mouth.

Suddenly, he and Kaname were back inside the theatre. Zero had no idea what was going on, but his first instinct was to blame everything on Tsuki. Every time the demon was around, weird shit always happened. And most of the time, it never made sense.

That would have been a good point, if it wasn't for the fact that Tsuki was acting just as strange as everyone else. Something wasn't right; any idiot could see that. If it wasn't Tsuki that was doing it, it had to be someone just as powerful at the demon.

Zero was fairly certain that vampires didn't have the ability to teleport themselves, and another to a strange bar, somewhere in the world. He was also fairly certain that vampires didn't have the ability to let them think their own thoughts, while they said something completely different. The only creature that Zero had met that had that sort of power was Tsuki.

Kaname watched as the Day Class students ran around. He had no idea what they were doing. He shook his head. The insanity was getting beyond a joke. If Tsuki didn't find a way of controlling it, Kaname would. And that would probably mean selling his soul to the devil.

"What's our next move?" Zero asked, trying not to stare at the Day Class.

"I'm thinking Disney World," Kaname muttered, frowning at his words. "I mean, I don't know. I think we should find out if Tsuki is responsible for all of this, or if there is another demon around."

"Where did that demon go?"

"I'm up here," Tsuki said through a sigh. "And trust me; I'm not responsible for this. If I was, would I superglue myself to the fucking ceiling of a theatre?"

Kaname and Zero raised their eyes. Tsuki had his back on the ceiling, and if they were going to be honest, yes. Tsuki probably would superglue himself to the ceiling of a theatre, if it meant he could avoid detection. But at the same time, they knew that Tsuki would glad admit to being responsible for something as fucked up as what was happening.

"So what are we going to do about it?" Kaname asked.

"How the hell am I meant to know? I'm currently powerless to do anything about it. At this very moment, I wouldn't be able to handle a wet dream."

"Isn't your power level over nine thou ––" Kaname began.

"Oh, hell no! We are _not_ making that reference," Tsuki cut in, glaring down at the vampire. "Surely we can be more original than that."

"What?" Kaname asked.

"What?" Zero repeated.

Kain stood beside Zero. The Pureblood and the Hunter looked at him. "You know what they say. A happy rooster in the morning makes a great bacon sandwich." The vampire walked on.

The vampire, Hunter and demon watched him go. Kaname closed his eyes. "Okay. How is it that we can make quack? No, I mean why are we the only ones that make quack? What is up with the damn quack?"

Tsuki drew in a deep breath. "Kaname…Sometimes, during prolonged sessions of insanity, some words are replaced by others. In this case, the word 'quack' has been replaced by quack."

A female Day Class student ran past Kaname and Zero. "I just peed a moat."

Zero glanced at the girl as she disappeared behind the background. "I think I sit next to her in class. That's disgusting."

"In that case," Kaname said, "how do we get everything back to moo?" His eyes widened, and he tried very hard to keep his temper under control.

"Yes, 'moo' has been replaced by moo. I can get some things back to moo, but it won't be easy." Tsuki struggled to get off the ceiling. "And it won't be cluck with me attached to the ceiling."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Zero exploded. "You're a god damn demon, and you can't even defeat superglue? What the fuck is buh-caw with you?"

Tsuki narrowed his eyes. "What's buh-caw with me? What's buh-caw with you? Kaname is a motherfucking vampire! Get him to do something for once!"

Zero went to retort, when the ground shook. He fell on top of Kaname, and didn't move until the shaking stopped. It finally did five minutes later. Zero raised his head, looking around. The theatre was still in tact, and Tsuki was still pinned to the ceiling.

"What was that?" he asked, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

"I think someone just blew up the science wing." Tsuki glanced at his back when he heard the tearing of material. He cried out as he fell on top of Zero, crushing the Hunter into Kaname. "Damn it. I should have seen that one coming."

Kaname groaned. His ribs were aching, and neither Tsuki nor Zero was moving. He couldn't get air into his lungs, and was grateful that he was a vampire. Blood pounded in his ears, which sounded strangely like marching footsteps. That was strange. He was used to the sound of blood in his ears, but it never sounded like that before.

"Is someone marching towards us?" Kaname asked, looking from side to side.

"Of course there is," Tsuki answered.

"You didn't even look."

"Kaname, seriously? With all the shit that has been happening in the last hour, do you really think that you're only hearing things? The cards have come to life, and are zombies. They're going to attack us." Tsuki removed his brown wig, and frowned when black bangs fell into his eyes. That wasn't right.

Tsuki got his feet, and Zero rolled to the side of Kaname. He was beginning to think that the demon was never going to move. He stared up at the sky. It was a strange black-purple color. He couldn't be sure, but Zero figured they were in hell. It explained everything that was happening. It didn't make sense, even in his twisted mind, but it make him feel a little better about the whole situation.

"We aren't in hell, Zero. We're in Wonderland," Tsuki explained.

Kaname sat up. He had no idea how Tsuki could tell where they were. He looked over his shoulder, and saw the giant neon sign that said 'Welcome to Wonderland'. Something was off with Tsuki. Usually, the demon was apathetic and only lost composure whenever his brother was around. If Tsuki had to rely on a sign to know where they were, had he lost his ability to see into the future? He didn't seem to have lost his mind reading ability, though.

"One, I knew this was going to happen. It was in your future. Two, I haven't lost that ability, nor have I lost any of my abilities. The sign was just a huge help. And three, go fuck yourself." Tsuki shook his hair back, and looked around.

Kaname slowly got to his feet, and helped Zero up. He tilted his head slightly as Zero's ears twitched. Just when he thought things couldn't get any weirder. It made him wonder why it was just the three of them there. Where was everyone else? Why were they the only ones experience this? And why did it make absolutely no quack?

"Kaname, stop asking stupid questions to which you already know the answers to," Tsuki said, stepping towards the entrance to Wonderland. "So, which of you two is going to be the idiot that says it?"

"Says what?" Kaname and Zero asked, glancing at each other.

"Three…two…one…"

"Did you put drugs into the water?" Kaname inquired gently.

"There it is. Yeah, because instead of doing the easy thing, and making everyone hallucinate, I decided to score drugs, and waste them on you and the humans. Do you seriously think I would do that? I mean, I know I'm a demon, but that is just stupid."

Zero looked over his shoulder. "Something is wrong here." He wiggled his tail. "My attachments aren't attachments anymore. I have real bunny ears, and a real cotton tail."

Kaname offered a calm smile. "At least it can't get any worse."

"Idiot!" Tsuki shouted as it began to rain, from the ground up. "Only a moron says that. We all know that we aren't delusional, so therefore, this is a reality. Though, I'm still trying to figure out how Zero became a furry."

Zero glared. "I'm a hybrid, not a furry. There is a huge difference, Kurenai. I figured you, of all creatures, would know that."

"I do. I'm a little creeped out that you know the difference. Is that what all that porn is, under your bed?" Tsuki raised an eyebrow, and smirked at the Hunter.

Kaname held his hands up, and stepped between Tsuki and Zero. He didn't need a fight to break out between them. Tsuki would have no remorse in killing Zero, and that wasn't something that Kaname wanted. "Right now, let's figure out how we're going to get out of here and back into the really real world."

Tsuki blinked. "The only way back is through there," he said, pointing to the entrance of Wonderland. "And you do not want to know what is waiting for us."

Kaname and Zero glanced at each other. If Tsuki was saying that, they knew it had to be bad. And still, they needed to know exactly how bad it was going to be, so they could prepare themselves for it. Tsuki looked at them, and shook his head.

"The last half an hour that happened before we got here? Think that, only worse. If you thought that shit made no quack, in there is going to be at least eleven times worse."

Zero groaned. "How did this even happen?" he whined. He glared at Tsuki. "This is your fault, isn't it? You did something here."

"Yeah, sure. Blame me because I'm a demon. Are you sure neither of you read any old books?" Tsuki's eyes fixated on Kaname. He waited patiently for Kaname to admit to screwing everything up.

Kaname finally sighed. "I didn't think my Latin would be that rusty that I would create this sort of chaos. If you knew I was going to do it, why didn't you stop me?"

Tsuki rolled his eyes. "I'm a demon. I do things for my own benefit, most of the time. Besides, I want to see you screw this up for yourself. It's going to be fun to watch."

"Thanks, Kuran. This is just great." Zero took a deep breath. "Let's go, then."

Kaname, Tsuki and Zero stepped over to the entrance of Wonderland. Kaname had a very bad feeling about this, especially considering Tsuki's words. Zero had no idea what to expect, but figured if he expected everything nothing would take him by surprise. Tsuki knew exactly what was coming, and made sure he had his camera on him. If he played his cards right, he would be able to exploit the fan-girls. That was, if Kaname and Zero didn't screw it up for him.

~*~  
><span>End Chapter II.<span>

Yup. Still have no idea how this story happened. But I hope you're all enjoying it. There will be even more insanity, but I promise it will make a little more sense. For most of this chapter, I ripped off an online series. A brownie to the person that knows what series it is. If you guess it right, there will be another surprise for you!

Now to my favorite part!

**ben4kevin:** Thanks for taking this story's review cherry! Glad you enjoyed the start, and I hope you enjoyed this one too!

**Alexeia-09:** Sweet! Glad to know that you still love Tsuki. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, too!

**demoncookie8D:** Yeah, my stories are getting more and more random. I'm happy to know that you enjoyed the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one, too!

**Cult Grade Koolaid:** First off, I love your name! Secondly, thanks for the review. It warms my heart to know that people are enjoying it. I also may have been on meth...And yes, this being under Drama was a crack at it. There isn't anything really dramatic about it.

**Larn555:** I hope this is more enough for you! Thanks for the review!

**To everyone who has alerted/favorited:** Thanks ! It means a great deal. Still, it wouldn't kill ya to leave behind your thoughts.

**To everyone else:** Read, review and then favorite and alert.

Until the next one, have a great day!

Peace.


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